Top 10 Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2011

1. Lady Gaga mistaking all the dead birds and dead fish in the sea as material for her new wardrobe.


2. SEQUELS

The Hungover Pirates of the Deathly Hallows Scream when Harold and Kumar become Paranormal Transformers in route to their Final Destination.

3. General use of Electric Cars.

We’re still really far away from completing our 2011 checklist from the Disney Channel movie, “Xenon” but this puts us one step closer to space and neon clothing.

4. Lindsay Lohan going into a Rehab for Rehabilitation Center Overdoses.

I’m actually really pissed off at her because if she weren’t so careless, society would not have to endure the pain of a mediocre Mean Girls remake. This girl had so much potential.

5. Somehow spending more money on music than food.

A few upcoming albums:

Radiohead- Just when you think there isn’t enough trippiness in this world, Thom Yorke mind f’s again.

Lady Gaga- Apparently this album will be more poetic, with real meaning, depth, and purpose. Whichever way, I’m down to boogie.

The Strokes-…Of genius.

Arctic Monkeys- Music to put some funk and punk into your love machine.

Beyonce- Apparently Mrs. Fierce has a few more alter-egos to manifest.

Santigold- My cause and artist against MIA.

Lil Wayne- Imagine the explosion of wittiness post-prison soon to come.

6.  Finding out if the Republican “pundints” will actually allow Sarah Palin to run against Barack Obama for Presidency.

Apparently this is a real question. All you need is one head-to-head debate with these two to settle the race.

7. The Great Oprah Winfrey getting her own network.

Since no one seemed to fill Mother Teresa’s shoes, Oprah Winfrey took it upon herself to save mankind. Her new network will put horoscopes, philosophers, house work, child-rearing, and personal opinions to an end.

(She’s a great woman but I don’t understand her enormous amount of fame. Maybe I’m just a hater.)

8.  The creative extent of infomercial products.

Pajamas that look like jeans? I understand the value of laziness and our right as American citizens to preserve it, but infomercial products have made laziness become tacky.

9. Spending another year to teach my little sister common, urban responses.

“Hoochie Mama”- what you call yourself when people compliment your skirts and short dresses

“Oh, you fancy huh”- Its more polite to say this instead of denying a person a favor

“Rain, rain, go away, that’s what all my haters say”-When you cant play outside because its raining.

“I whip my hair”- way cooler than saying you brushed you hair.

“Real talk”- a phrase to say before you lie to someone.

My cover for wisdom was blown after she heard the songs on the radio.

10. China being a Superpower.

LOL I once saw this commercial air on CNN and was in love. Unfortunately, it was banned for being ludicrous.

or is it? Current CNN homepage…


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